It is the difference between wanting and needing a snow day.
You can want something without needing it. You can look forward to life but be scared of it at the same time or you can be scared and let it overwhelm you - this knowledge that you will not be able to survive - only imitate survival -- you feel it is impossible for you to go on.
Still, you cannot hide from the world, even if it is what you sometimes feel you need.
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