Kinds of Tired

You get tired at 8. And then more tired at 9, and 10, up until when you fall asleep, if you can manage that tonight. That's the kind of tired that just keeps growing, like a tree it grows old until it strikes the clouds. That's what you're wishing for...the clouds.

There's the kind of tired you lose when you stay up too late; you missed your hour and now you're body thinks its a whole new day. There's the kind of tired of the morning after, when you're feeling oh so tired because you only got this many hours of sleep but really part of the reason you are so tired is because you are thinking that you should be tired after only 4 hours, approximately, of sleep - though maybe you are not as tired as you think you are...you can maybe think yourself out of tired.

But then why is there the kind of tired you are the day after 10 hours of restful sleep and you didn't even get up to go to the bathroom at 3 AM; there's no reason you should be tired - you didn't run 10 miles or lift heavy boxes today or yesterday nor did you take care of any children or shovel the snow that's not falling- you didn't actually, if you remember correctly, do much of anything. It's the kind that makes you putter around the house and act mopey and some people will say it's boredom and you used to think it was that, but then it doesn't really make sense that you would be bored when there are so many things to do that you don't find boring- and sometimes you find downright exciting, but when you are tired, all you wish is to not feel so tired so that you can be downright excited!

So it is really the fault of the tiredness itself, because if you weren't so very tired, then you would not find the need to always say you were tired, nor would you be so very tired that you could not do all the things that you need to be untired for. All those things are also called living but you are not sure you are actually doing that now, even though technically you are, and it tires you.